How to Have Better Sex in Marriage
Is there a lack of sex in your marriage?
Everyone has been there once or twice in their lives. But there are tangible ways and tips for better sex in marriage and reignite the passion for your lackluster sex life.
Don’t give up hope on improving sex in marriage. If you constantly ask the question “How to have better sex in marriage?” then making genuine efforts towards building a certain level of comfort, having fun, and shaking up your between-the-sheets routine can go a long way.
Better sex in marriage is not as daunting a task as it seems.
Sex and physical intimacy come naturally in a relationship; with time, it might lose its spark to some extent, but it doesn’t vanish. All you have to do is work to rediscover the passion you once shared with your partner to make sex better in marriage.
Related Reading: Lack of Intimacy: Living in a Sexless Marriage
Importance of a healthy sex life
Sex is a human need. However, it is not just about the need or the fun of the activity. Sex is associated with a healthy body and mind. Every orgasm is known to release oxytocin, which is also known as the love hormone. The hormone is known to help improve heart health, reduce stress, limit the risk of mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety, and better sleep quality.
Sex also improves intimacy and promotes activities such as cuddling and snuggling, which are likely to make you feel closer to your partner. Sex tips that make sex better for you and your partner can, therefore, help you improve your physical and mental health as well.
Why sex is important in a marriage
Sex may not be the only factor in a happy and healthy marriage, but it does hold quite some value. Here are some reasons why sex is considered an important aspect of a good marriage.
- Physical and emotional intimacy are connected
- Physical intimacy helps build trust between partners
- Sex helps deepen the bond between partners
- Sex helps boost self-confidence, which is likely to manifest into a better relationship between the couple as well.
- Sex helps reduce stress. Stress is known to be a common cause of fights and arguments among couples.
- Sex helps improve communication
- Sexual intercourse is a great workout and can help you stay physically fit
- Sex helps you celebrate your happy life as a couple.
Related Reading: Importance of Sex in Marriage
20 tips on how to have better sex for men and women
Now that you are aware of the many health benefits of sex and its importance in a happy and healthy marriage, it is time to think about how to get better at sex.
Maybe you and your spouse have hit a roadblock when it comes to sex, or maybe you just wish to spice things up in the bedroom. Either way, these 20 sex tips for a better sex life can help you.
10 tips for better sex for men
While most of these tips are useful for both men and women, these 10 sex tips can specifically help men have better sex with their partners.
1. Tell them how to turn you on
While men may know how to turn their partner on, the chances are that their partner is unaware of what does the trick for them.
Turning your partner on is the first step of what makes sex better. Talk to your partner, and tell them what you like and what turns you on. This not only makes things easier for them but also helps you enjoy sex.
2. Turn chores into foreplay
Most often, people think that men are not romantic. However, you can spice things up by doing something absolutely romantic and nice for your partner – turn chores into foreplay.
Research has found that women are likely to find sex more enjoyable with their male partners if they help around the house. You can make anything sexy, even washing dishes, if you do it right. Make the most of the opportunity if you wonder how to have better sex in your marriage.
Related Reading: 6 Foreplay Ideas That Will Surely Spice up Your Sex Life
3. Do not worry about penetrative sex
Men can often worry a lot about penetrative sex, and some experts say that they can actually stress themselves out so much that they lose an erection.
Try no to worry about it so much. You can indulge in other things such as oral sex and other enjoyable things for you and your partner. When you do not stress about it, it is likely to happen in the best ways.
4. Check your diet
What you eat can have a great impact on your sex drive and how you perform in bed. Checking your diet and including foods that help you boost your stamina and sex drive is one of the most important tips for better sex. Foods rich in proteins and antioxidants help boost sexual performance.
Related Reading: 11 Natural Foods That Increase Libido for Women and Elevate Your Sex Life
5. Take your time undressing
Your partner may enjoy the process of undressing you, and it might boost the sexual experience for both of you. One of the ways to have better sex is to be sexy but slow with the process of undressing. It might help release more oxytocin and lead to more passion in between the sheets.
6. Make it last
Many people are unaware of how long the sex should be and often think that their partners have unrealistic expectations from them.
According to a study, the average length of intercourse should be between 7 to 14 minutes. However, if you make it last this long, it is likely to be the most enjoyable for you and your partner.
7. Watch porn together
The popular belief and misconception is that women do not enjoy watching porn.
If you are in a heterosexual marriage, it would be great to let that misconception go and watch porn with your partner. It is likely to make them feel more comfortable having sex with you, and you both can also find out what either of you would like to try in the bedroom.
Related Reading: Is Porn Bad or Good? Understanding the Divide
8. Take control of your breath
When they train you for a sport, one of the most important things they teach you is to take control of your breath. Breathing is one of the most essential better sex techniques. It helps you last in bed longer and keeps up the stamina.
Related Reading: How Oral Hygiene Affects Your Relationship
9. Turn the lights on
Have you heard that men are visual?
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I bet you know that study finds that most of the men are visual beings. (I know some women are visual, too!).
Because of this, it only makes sense leaving the lights on during sex would heighten the experience.
10. Increase intimacy
Increasing physical intimacy is directly linked with emotional intimacy. Give your spouse enough time, talk to them, take them out on dates, and keep the romance alive. This is likely to reflect in your sex life as well. If you wonder how to make sex better, focusing on intimacy is one of the most critical steps to take.
Related Reading: 20 Best Sex Tips for Men Who Want to Be Amazing in Bed
10 tips on how to have better sex for women
The process of sex can be different for men and women. Here are some tips that can make sex more enjoyable and better for women mainly.
Related Reading: 15 Best Sex Tips for Women That Drive Men Crazy
1. Have sex more often
There are a couple of things that happen when you make sex a priority.
The first is that the more you have sex, the more you will want it. Second, it should get increasingly better.
Sex is a physical activity. And just like any other physical activity, you need to practice to become better.
To improve sex in marriage, you must be intentional about it. It is one of the most powerful tips for better sex.
When you do, your partner will begin to know your body more, and you will begin to know your partner’s. Once you know how to navigate each other’s bodies and how to push each other over the orgasmic edge, that is when sex becomes amazing.
Related Reading: How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex?
2. Speak openly and have a productive sex conversation
Being able to have an open, honest conversation about your sex life is vital. That’s one of the simplest tips for better sex.
Sex can improve in any relationship, but both people need to voice their needs without embarrassment. Being vocal about needs is one of the key tips for better sex and a happy relationship.
3. Try your best to look and taste great
Women are known to enjoy oral sex. However, some factors such as foul smell and taste, or an infection, can make it less pleasurable for you and your partner. Try your best to look great for your partner and also taste great. Then, when they enjoy it, you are likely to feel more comfortable, and enjoy it too!
4. Listen
Men also have specific things they like, and listening to them can solve half your problems. If you wonder how to perform better in bed, the answer lies with your partner. Listen to them about what they like to do and what they enjoy being done to them. This will help you make them feel more loved and appreciated between the sheets.
5. Create a mood
Good music, nice-smelling candles, dim lights – all scream a good night of intimacy! Create a mood and see that you feel more confident, in love, and passionate about having sex with your partner. When both of you are into it, there is little chance that something will go wrong.
6. Experiment with positions
Tell your partner you want to experiment with positions and try to find the one that is the most stimulating to you. Trying new positions can also help spice things up for him and will keep you both on your toes, sometimes, literally.
Related Reading: 20 Best Sex Positions to Connect with Your Spouse
7. Ask your partner to touch you everywhere
Touching with a lubricant such as oil can help boost a woman’s sex drive. Ask your partner to touch your body, especially the places where you like being touched. This is likely to turn you on and make sex better for you.
8. Identify your needs
It is essential to communicate your needs to your partner. However, to be able to do that, you need to identify them first. Knowing what you want sexually helps you ask for it, and also enjoy sex more. So, if you want to be better at sex, identify your sexual needs.
If you want to know more about how to talk to your partner about sex, watch this video.
9. Take charge
One of the essential tips for better sex life is to take charge. Do not wait for your partner to initiate sex, but instead, do it yourself whenever you feel like it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting sex and asking your partner for it. Most men find it sexy when the women take charge.
10. Stay healthy
Staying healthy is one of the ways to be better at sex. When you feel healthy and happy about your body, you are likely to show it in the bedroom as well. So get comfortable with your body and try to maintain good physical and mental health for better sex.
The bottom line
Apart from the ones mentioned above, there can be numerous other ways to improve sex in marriage. Sex is an essential component of a romantic relationship, and it is not a tough nut to crack.
Knowing what you like, telling your partner about it, and ensuring sexual compatibility can help you improve your sex life and keep the spark alive between the two of you.
Share this article on
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.