I know from personal experience that the tension I unconsciously hold in my muscles is behind the cause of chronic pain, such as pelvic pain, lower back pain and bladder irritation. Chronic tension can lead to fatigue which leads to even more debilitating illness. Understanding what creates muscle tension is the key to unlocking unconscious holding patterns.
It’s All About Protection
Holding tension in muscles is a way of protecting oneself from physical or emotional harm. It’s also a way to hide from ourselves and other people what we’re really feeling, and that might seem too scary to deal with. What begins in childhood as a way to resist feeling uncomfortable emotions and situations can become a life long habit of being. Eventually the muscles get so irritated from the lack of blood flow from being tense so much, that the pain becomes insistent and chronic.
Identifying Protective Devices
In mind-body coaching we refer to these physical patterns of holding muscle tension as “protective devices.” It’s possible to explore protective patterns from the body’s perspective. In working with myself and my clients I’ve learned that protective devices usually start in childhood as survival reactions to difficult or traumatic situations. These patterns become chronic because once the brain learns a way to react to new experiences it repeats it as a way of saving energy by creating a neural pathway, or habit, that takes little attention or effort to execute.
For example, I have a strong habit of resisting feelings emotions. When I shove my emotions rather than feel them, my right leg, right lower abdomen and right lower back become tight, sore, and achy. Often, my chest and the back of my throat feels tight and clogged too. I know from experience that this is a common protective reaction I automatically go to when there are uncomfortable emotions presenting.
Intentionally Create Healthy Protection
What has given me so much relief from chronic pain is to set up my protection in healthier, more conscious ways. The pain pattern reminds me to feel my emotions rather than resist them. However, in order to feel safe in feeling my emotions, I have taken the job of heavy protection off of my muscles by imagining a very strong protective boundary at the edge of my personal space all around me. This gives me personal space inside the protected area to feel emotions, which are “action requiring neurological programs,” orienting me to the information they contain and allowing my muscles to let go of holding because I have stopped resisting and received the messages the emotions contain.
When I feel safe with the protection off my body and in the boundary space around me, I can be who I am in this moment, without hiding from myself, and I can also be protected from other people’s wants, needs, emotions and opinions. I take the original job of the protective device and set that intention for my boundary space which relieves my muscles from having to work so hard to keep me safe, which takes my body out of the fight, flight or freeze response and gives me a lot more space to be me. I don’t have to hold all that emotional energy deep inside my body.
Welcome Discomfort Rather Than Resist It
To lighten your heavy protective load, notice muscle tension or emotional discomfort. Rather than resisting it, welcome it. Focus towards feeling it in your body. Sense what its purpose is, how it’s here to help you and then choose to practice a new way of being present in your body that’s more effective. If you have trouble doing this on your own, hire a mind-body coach to learn how to dialogue with and make new agreements with your protective devices.
When we get clear on what we agree to what we don’t agree to in ourselves and in our relationship to the rest of the world, we can rely on our agreements to help set boundaries. By claiming our personal space it gives us more room to notice and welcome how we are feeling rather than having to hold it hidden inside our bodies. We can channel our natural protective energy in conscious ways rather than getting side-lined by old unconscious ways of being that no longer serve us, thus lightening the load on our bodies.
Gail, I had an experience recently where I noticed the change that happened when I took up my personal space. At the clinic where I work part time a male patient was saying suggestive and, I felt, inappropriate things to me. I felt I needed to continue to act professionally with him, but I also noticed I was energetically pulling into myself as a way to try and get away from him. I then had the thought that I didn’t need to do this, that he couldn’t bully me, and that I could take up my space and be relaxed and present, and safe. When I shifted me, he shifted and stopped his inappropriate behavior – all without me saying a word!
Also, I have noticed with horses that if I am embodying my internal and external space, they feel much more confident and relaxed around me. It is clear to them where I am. Horses are great teachers about personal space and boundaries because they will often invade your personal space if you are not inhabiting it yourself!
Hi Alice:
What a powerful example of intentionally shifting your energy and the immediate feedback you got! You totally shifted out of victim mode, claimed your space and the patient honored it.
And I love that the horses have helped you learn how to embody your internal and external space. They are great teachers.
Funny thing happened. I always read your blog as soon as it comes but this week i was very sick, my imune system is low and guess what happens? I read u blog and hear all about protection!!! And this was what happenef i lost mt boundary and now i am getting it back!!!!!
Fernanda – I’m glad to hear you got your boundary back! Learning new ways of being in our body does take practice. You know the old way is not working for you, but it’s so easy to fall back into the old ways, so the practice is just to keep noticing when you get off track and where you don’t want to be and to keep coming back to where you do want to be in your relationship with your body, emotions and everyone else.